How to realign with your desires during change

My client stared back at me through the camera on her laptop. Her eyes filled with tears, her lips pressed tightly together as she fought back a stern frown. 

"I am useless. My kids and husband don't need me!" She paused. 

"Can you help me understand how you came to this realization?" 

She gasped, then began to sob. "I have been sick in bed all week. My husband cooked, cleaned, did the shopping, took the kids to school, made dinner, helped the kids with their homework, read to them, and got them to bed, and somehow, he still managed to do his work! They laughed and played. They did everything without me."

"What does this mean about you?" She squeezed her eyes shut, crossed her arms in front of her chest as if she were holding herself in place, and with her right hand, she held a tissue to her mouth and said, "They don't need me. I'm useless. I don't have a purpose."

Only a week before this session, my client decided to go all in on her dream of starting her business and put her 2-week notice in. It was something she had been wanting to do for years. The battle between her head and her heart always got in the way. She wanted support during the transition. That's when she decided to work with me.

In her mind, she battled with the fear of letting people down. Yet, in her heart, she knew she could become the version of herself that was a thriving business owner doing what she loved. Working together would help her align her mindset and self-image with who she was becoming.

Working a J.O.B. guaranteed her an income; it was safe. She fought with the fear that her business wouldn't work out even though she was already working it on the side. She was highly skilled and knowledgeable, had a massive network, and knew exactly how she wanted to do it full-time. 

The day she put in her 2-week notice, she celebrated! However, before she could even finish the night of celebration, her mind was overwhelmed with doubt. She was bursting at the seams, trying to hide it from others and herself. 

"What if something goes wrong? What if people stop coming to me? What if someone leaves a bad review? Other people are doing this. Why would people choose to work with me if my business is new? I'm not good enough yet. I'm going to make a fool of myself! If we lose everything, it will be my fault! I don't know enough about running a business."  

It wasn't too much of a surprise that she would get sick. All the fear and insecurities started to surface for her to work through, and instead, she suppressed them to ignore and hide from them. 

I asked her if she had been sick before.

"Of course I have."

"Did your husband take care of the house and family?"

"Yes."

"How did you feel when your husband cared for things so you could rest and recover?"

"I mean...I was relieved I could rely on him to jump in and take over."

"What changed? Why might you feel like you're worthless now when in the past you were relieved?"

Her eyes widened, and she gasped. "Oh my gosh! I wasn't trying to convince myself I was worthless because I wasn't trying to talk myself out of a big change!"

All the thoughts she had about her family while she was lying sick in bed were simply a reflection of how fear was causing her to see herself.

There are two basic universal laws that I follow and teach: 

#1-Whatever you resist persists.

#2-Whatever you focus on expands.

The first thing I had my client do was acknowledge the fears. By trying to deny them, she was resisting them. And by fighting them, she focused on them, causing them to expand as evidence in her reality.

If you have fears that keep getting in the way of your dreams, acknowledge them by writing them down. 

Thank them for keeping you safe from the unknown that change brings. 

Then let your heart take the stage and say or write down, "Thank you, fear, for trying to keep me safe and comfortable. Instead, I choose... (decide on an action that aligns with your desire). 

Then go do that new action. 

To help you align with the energy that will help you progress, ask yourself this question and then journal about it. 

"What would I believe about myself right now if I was already the version of myself I want to be living the way I desire to live right now?"